Unless specified, this information relates only to England and Wales. If you live in Scotland, go to Parenting across Scotland for information and advice. If you live in Northern Ireland, go to NI direct

Negotiation is all about communicating and working together to find a solution that’s fair for both sides.

For negotiation to work, you need to:

  • put the needs of any children first
  • put aside your feelings about the end of the relationship
  • be open and honest
  • forget about scoring points
  • be able to compromise
  • Where, when and how you want to talk with your ex-partner/child’s other parent
  • What you want to talk about
  • Which issues are high priority
  • What issues you’re prepared to compromise on

Where can I go next?

  • netmums logo
    Netmums - Negotiating with your ex partner

    Information and advice on how to talk to your child's other parent about arrangements for the children. This article is from Netmums, the UKs biggest online parenting community.

  • Resolutions logo
    Resolution - Negotiation

    This is an explanation of the different types of negotiation that separating or divorcing parents can choose to go through. This information is provided by Resolution.

  • Separated Dads - Negotiation

    This information is for separated parents who want to know more about how mediation can help them negotiate with the other parent.